Kabog sa Dibdib.

NO. This is not the title of the newest bomba film. Haha! I just have to let this uneasy feeling out.

As if my FB status and early discussion with Pen doesn’t suffice yet. 🙂 Pagbigyan nyo nako, blog ko naman to eh!

Today I was awakened by a call from the Brit Council about some sort of test that I have to take.

Well no, this isn’t a surprise. I know that this time will come but what makes me so anxious is that of all 4 friends that are taking it with me, I am the first. Damn. Not just earlier by a minute or even an hour. Earlier by a day!!! How can the world be so unfair? Arghh!!! I felt like I am once again gonna do my thesis defense! Or okay… I think what I’m afraid the most is failing… I hope I won’t coz I don’t want to disappoint myself and those people who care and because this is so important to me and my future. Uyyyy… serious?

Dbale, if it doesn’t turn out to be successful, may second and third take pa naman eh… Pero mas ok sana kung first na lang di’ba!?

Haay! Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. You can do it Bei!!! For BEA! Aja!

WORRYWART

“One who worries excessively and needlessly.” I think I am.

 

 

Right now, I can’t stop thinking.. 

 

About work.

Kung hanggang kailan pa ako dito.

Kung saan pwedeng mag apply.

Kung anung susunod kong trabaho.

Kung anung pinag-uusapan ng mga ka-opisina ko.

Kung ako na ba yung susunod na matatanggal.

What’s so special about me para mag-stay?

Kung pano nako pag walang work.

Kung pano na sila.

Pano na sa June!?

Pano na ang Beijing?

Magkano kaya ang makukuha kong last pay.

Makakauwi kaya ako ng Pinas.

Makakahanap ba ko agad ng work.

Malapit na ang bday ko.

Marami kaya akong gift?

Anu kayang handa.

Anu kayang gift ni Hub?

Kilala pa kaya ako ni Bea?

Kelan kaya ako makakabalik ng Bora.

Bakit hindi ko maayos ayos ang Ipod ko.

Magtinda nlng kaya ako ng Lumpia.

Marami kayang bibili? Hehe! Sira!

Mag flight attendant daw ako.. (SYET. Ang tangkad ko talaga!)

Hindi ako pwedeng mawalan ng trabaho.

LABAN na ito.

Makakanuod kaya ako ng COLDPLAY?

Masaya siguro makikanta ng Viva La Vida.

Eh baka mawalan ka nga ng trabaho eh.

Ang layo kaya nun! (Dadayo talaga sa Abu Dhabi!?)

Ok fine.

Magbasa na lang ako ng Twilight Series.

Patulan ko na kaya yung pitong libro ng Harry Potter sa bahay?

Hindi mag-apply daw muna.

Eh pano kung biglang matanggap?

Lilipat na naman.

Sana swerte pa rin.

Sana career na ito.

Ang gulo naman.

Makapag-pilates na nga lang.

Katamad.

San ba magsisimula.

Haaaaaaaay…

Anu ba.

Kelan ba matatapos ito.

 

Anak ng.

To get out of a difficulty, one usually must go through it.

RETRENCHMENT. Lay off. Recession.

 

Kahit anu pang itawag natin jan, people who have lost their job are crying over the same definition.

 

December 1^st – after having received their pay for November, a letter had been sent out to those 500 employees who had been laid off. With the current global economic situation, it was already expected but nevertheless came as a big shock to everyone and had created an intense commotion in the industry.

 

Forewarning was out of the picture.

 

·         Thursday – they are working.

·         Friday and Saturday – they have enjoyed their OFF days.

·         Sunday – BAM! They are terminated.

 

It came like a bullet straight on their head. But what-to-do yani? There’s no other choice than to give a hopeless sigh as they sign the papers stating that they are no longer part of the company effective immediately.

 

I am indeed LUCKY to have not been included in the First Phase. Yes, you’ve read it right. Meron pang 2^nd, 3^rd and who knows baka ibenta pa ang company or worst, magsara nlng kame? 500, apparently, is not enough even if our company had already started slashing expenditures by laying out the budget constraints for 2009, detailed petty cash system and freezed hiring.

 

We have been advised that depending on the market’s condition, we’ll see in 3-6 months if we still have to lay off some people. But I guess, they have not lived up to their word because this week, there had been rumors regarding the next list for termination. This morning, the so called “rumor” became a fact – confirmed by my manager, a number of employee from another department had already been terminated. Who’s on the next list? — We still have to know.

 

BUT his big mouth mentioned one though. It is our Nepalese tea boy.  Today is his last day. His job is to walk around the office everyday and offer us coffee, juice or water. He would fix office tables, maintain pantry stuff and do cleaning in between. Some have already been a religious fan of his coffee mix and we are all used to his jesting and very very little (as in literally “little”) English. To our surprise, he is now one casualty of this retrenchment. He is only earning 500dhs (6000php) a month and yet he had to go. I can’t help but wonder, kung 500 dhs, hindi na nila kayang paswelduhin, pano pa kaya kame? I feel pity for him and for sure, he will be missed; but that’s life, we all have our own issues to deal with. I just wish the best for him.

 

For now, weekends would be very uncomfortable ‘coz I know that every now and then, I will worry for the coming Sunday. This is usually the day that they send out this surprise termination letters.  I just pray that my name is not on the list; otherwise, it would really be a very difficult situation.

 

On a second thought, ayoko naman talagang kabahan, considering the volume of work that we have now and my performance, I’d like to think that I’m on the above average line (minus the absences).  PERO. Isang malaking PERO. Sa sitwasyong ito, alam naman ng lahat na walang exempted. So, if this happen to me, I will still get up no matter what! Sabi nga dun sa nabasa ko (nakalimutan ko na kung saan), “If you find yourself in a dark dark situation, remember that The One above wants you to be at that exact place, so just let it be and have faith.”  Ako na ngayon ang no. 1 fan nya. 😀